"Yes, but can we elope?"

So I've been engaged here for a full 12 days now.  The last week has been a flurry of excitement, then planning, then..... "So, you wanna just elope?"

When you're in your mid 30's with kids and you're planning and paying for your own wedding, things go sort of like this:  

"Oh I have to invite so and so....."

to

"We'll keep it small.  Close friends and family."

to

"Do you really talk to your best friend that much?"

to

"Yeah, Grandma's gotta go."

Then your dog develops a hematoma on her ear that's going to cost $800 to fix and your fiancé (when I type fiancé, I almost always type finance) has to go to the ER because his wisdom tooth abscessed and he's in blinding pain and he doesn't have insurance.  Then you think: well, if we were married, he'd have coverage under my insurance.  Wait, what time does the courthouse open?

It's easy to lose sight of the point of things like weddings when the person you love is right there in front of you and you couldn't be happier and you're managing life together quite well, thank you very much.  In fact, the wedding becomes less and less important to me because I'm so damn sure about this man.  There is no event that will make it more meaningful.  It's a wonderful place to know you're at.  I could be perfectly happy making it legal at 2:30 in the afternoon at the Buncomb County Courthouse.  Reception to follow at Starbucks.

In fact, my friend Meg and Zack moseyed on down to the courthouse under very similar circumstances and are one of the happiest married couples I've known.  Both came from divorce.  Both had kids.  Both are head over heels in love with one another.

I have other friends, Season and Tamara, that live in a state that won't marry them.  So they just got hitched in New York one afternoon when they were there visiting family.  They had their kids in tow.  They are another couple I respect and look up to.

That said, I'm a sucker for symbolism.  I'm a sucker for parties.  I'm a sucker for making our mom's happy.   I'm a sucker for dressing my kids up in adorable things......

Decisions, decisions.

Last night after picking Billy up from the ER, we drove around attempting to find a 24 hour pharmacy to fill his medication.  In doing so, we had several failed attempts and lots of out-of-our-way driving.  This all after having driven our kids back to their other parents, both living in opposite directions, 2 hours away.  Not to mention the commute between our cities to see each other which is an hour. Billy and I could drive in our sleep.  Driving is something we've grown accustom to, but don't like to do any more of if we have a choice.

Ready to be at home, in bed, watching the Oscars, I mutter: "I'm gonna need one of your pain pills if we ever find a pharmacy to fill them." Half joking of course.  Half.  Maybe 1/4th.


Then Billy said: "See, this is why I'm marrying you.  Yeah, we'll have vacations and weekends and holidays and downtime.  But it's this.  All this unexpected, life management stuff.  I could do this with you forever.  Even this stuff is good."