Monday, March 31, 2014

Motherhood Daze

Last evening I got out for a couple hours for a couple beers with a couple people that didn't come from my vagina.  We talked kids and stomach bugs and lice and sleeping arrangements and careers.  Someone mentioned a fellow mama in the neighborhood that was directing and acting in her own play here in town.  I turned to the woman next to me and boasted of wearing clean underwear and brushing my teeth that day.  Only then did I run my tongue down the front of my bottom teeth to verify I was not, in fact, telling the truth.  I'm a dirty, dirty liar.

Motherhood is tricky.  It's brutal at times.  It strips you down to your skivvies, forces you to run 6 miles on no sleep and leaves you white knuckling the Nutella jar, trying to remember the last time you brushed your teeth.  It was yesterday, okay.  And even knowing that evokes no desire to put my computer down to go brush them.
People should know the truth.

I'm in that postpartum funk.  I'm happy, don't get me wrong.  I'm in love with my new little man.  I'm in love with my family life.  I'm in love with my husband, who does whatever he can to support me.  But the funk can sneak in.  The initial "thank God I'm not pregnant anymore" honeymoon has faded into sideway glances in the mirror of hips I want to go down by summer, boobs that are double the size of my newborn's head and a mind that's.....trying.  The other day I asked my dog to hand me the remote.  I kid you not.  My hand me the remote.

Needless to say, it's been awhile since I've been able to write.  The pregnancy zapped me.  It's a big, long whiny story of nausea, insane weight gain, back and pelvic pain and hormones.  Nothing that extraordinary, only that we women actually survive it, then go through birth, THEN actually choose to do it again.  (By the by, I'm working on my birth story, which started two weeks early with Shep asking why was peeing all over myself.)  Oh, here's a pic of my newest boy..

But now that Charlie is safely out and sleeping through the night (I'm almost scared to type that, afraid I'll jinx it), my brain is beginning to crave things like collective thoughts and ideas.  I'm a writer.  It's what I do.  It's how I sort and store experiences and bring them together to create logic and beauty for myself and others.  It's a desire, an outpouring.  It's a necessity.

And so here I am again, on my little old blog.  I hope I spelled words correctly and did all the "there, they're and theirs" right...  It's good to be back.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Ocean Isle Part Two

Oh the beach was just what we needed!  We left like most families do: keeping your eyes on the prize while packing and cleaning and buttoning up last minute details so you can get the heck out of dodge.   

This beach trip is a 25 year tradition for Billy's family.  Every year the entire extended family gathers at the same two houses, right next to each other to spend a week at Ocean Isle.  We did not eat out one time in 7 days.  Dinners were cooked,  community style and shared together.  

Did I mention I now have 2 father in laws that are pretty damn amazing?  Well, this one (Bob) can cook the bejesus out of some fresh seafood.  Shep calls him Bob the Builder.  

Here's Bob the Builder:

 I wish I had remembered my camera to capture the food. It was UHmazing.  He did a cajun boil, fried shrimp, fried fish tacos and my personal favorite: fried pickles and jalepenos.  And even made me a virgin Pino Colada to which I secretly hoped he spiked with rum.

 One thing I love about my husband is he doesn't bat an eye at taking four kids out by himself.  I was needing a rest and he scooped them all up and took them to the pier solo.  And even managed to get a group shot: 

I have a crush...

These people know how to mix a drink, pull up a chair, play some music and enjoy life.  

One thing my marriage has shown me is that there is a lot of love in this world for me and mine.  I had no idea when I married Billy that I would inherit such genuinely good people as family. I feel very blessed.   They have all opened their arms to me and my kids like we've always been a part of things.  I look forward to sharing in this tradition for 20 more years.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Ocean Isle Part One

The ocean air has essentially wiped clean any traces of morning sickness, which I am thrilled over.  It only makes sense to stay at the beach as long as humanly possible.  

 Tiny Empanadas 

This is the only pic I have in this sequence that includes Fischer.  The child is everywhere and nearly impossible to capture.  As he should be at the beach..

Thursday, July 18, 2013

My lime has a heart beat

I apologize for my absence!  It's not that I haven't tried, what with riveting posts about plants on my porch and my summer readings which include a myriad of self help parenting books, sure to hold anyone's attention.   I'm afraid my brain has turned to mush.   My humor lies dormant.  My waistband, expanding.  I am pregnant and therefore a potato head. 

My baby is the size of a lime, which makes me crave a Corona.  We heard the little lime's heartbeat this week, strong and fast.  It's a surreal experience to have a child inside me again.  I truly thought I was done.  Shep, I'm sure, left things tidy.  My little ham will no longer be the baby anymore.  Though, his excitement for the new baby is great.  He turns five in December and knows that the baby will come right after he turns five.  He keeps confirming this fact over and over again. 

We're packing up our brood and heading to the coast with Billy's family this week.  I'm hoping the ocean air will cure what ails me.  The second trimester is just around the corner and I'm eager to get that second wind and feel human again.  

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

blueberry pickin' with a side of cobbler fail

Sorry for my absence.  My world is blanketed in a fog of hormones, through which I know not my head from my ass.  When I'm not thinking about tossing cookies, I'm trying to get outdoors and do activities with the kids that engage them.  The other day we decided to pick some blueberries for a pie we baked for a friend.  We'll skip over the additional cobbler I made and proudly put into the oven, only to discover the baking powder sitting, unnoticed and unused, on the counter.  This is why I'm not a baker.  Turns out if you glob hot, sugary blueberries onto vanilla ice cream, no one notices the missing baking powder anyway.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Granny's Garden

"I'm not much of a housekeeper, but my house isn't what makes me happy.  I spend my time outside." 

We went with Billy's family to visit his Granny last weekend.  She lives in a small town in NC.  She's an impressive woman.  She's spends her days outside planting and maintaining a huge garden.  She has blackberries, blueberries, pear trees, apple trees and cherry trees.  Not to mention every veggie you can think of.  I love a woman that puts it out there and is who she is. Anytime an older woman over, say...70,  speaks to me, I listen more eagerly for any wisdom she's got.  She walks with a cain and yet still works this little land of hers tirelessly.  She's funny and lively and will cruse occasionally.  My kinda Granny. 

In addition to all the fucking magic of her garden,  there is a beautiful creek running right along side her backyard.  There might as well have been a unicorn bathing in the sun.   The kids were in heaven.  I was in heaven.  It was a sweet, rich time.  

 Cherry tree.  

Samantha and Cinda.  Sister in law and mother in law.  I love my new family. 

Jeffery and Samantha...moments before the swing broke and they fell.

One part of the garden..


My sister in law is a beautiful woman...

Four generations..

Me and Granny shootin' the shit.